The Slit Mouthed Woman

D-

Directed by Koji Shiraishi

The many remakes of Asian horror films by Hollywood in recent years have given moviegoers the mistaken impression that Asia produces an unending supply of top notch horror flicks that are subsequently butchered by big American studios. Although plenty of this exists, rest assured that a fair share of awful Asian horror films see the light of day every year, 'Slit Mouthed Woman" being one of the worst I've seen in awhile.

"Slit Mouthed Woman" opens with the startling news that a woman, whose mouth is, you guessed it, slit, has been kidnapping children in broad daylight from an otherwise sleepy Japanese suburb. Elementary schoolteacher Kyoko attempts to keep her students away from harm by leading them back to home as a group only to have young Mayumi (I watched this film awhile ago so this may have actually been one of the girl's names...or the name of a male teacher. Whatever.) snatched by the evil Slit Mouthed Woman! A manhunt ensues as the authorities and Kyoko try to find the young boy and the other abducted children.

SMW suffers from woefully substandard production, featuring an amateurish sheen that is acceptable only for student films and intentially B-Rate productions that are trying to make a joke out of their tight budget. The punch to the narrative, if you want to call it that, is both confusing and disappointing, a cop out that would have been more palatable if the lead up to the reveal was worthwhile which, of course, it was not. I feel compelled to give the acting a bit of a pass since most of it is done by children who, truth be told, shouldnt be held to a very high standard of thespian excellence. Nonetheless, I,ve seen my fair share of films feautring untrained child actors and can safely say that this batch of kids is especially bad. The adult actors are no better, and the film's casting is a veritable clinic in how not to cast a movie. All in all, this is a bad, bad, bad, bad movie. Since I feel like I've done my duty by alerting my faithful public to the badness of this movie, and since I don't foresee anyone taking issue with my conclusion that this is, indeed, a very bad movie, I feel comfortable ending this review as it stands now.